Celebrate: Going Through It #celebratelu 4/11/15

celebrate link up

Ruth Ayres hosts a weekly celebration on her blog. I appreciate this invitation to reflect on the positives of my week.

My son is really going through it right now. For years, I’ve thought that once there was love and strong attachment, things would be easy. But everything new just uncovers something else old that needs to be worked through. Certain things are easier. But nothing is ever really easy for kids from hard places.

And some things get harder with love. With love comes the possibility of loss. Moms leave. Moms die. He doesn’t believe he could live through more loss. What would I do, he asks me. If you die. I don’t think I could ever do anything again. I couldn’t live. I would just sit in the house. That’s all.

There are few words of comfort that I can offer. Logic and reason can’t touch this particular fear. And besides, he’s right. I am going to die someday.

The relationship that should be a refuge for him is a war zone right now. He is struggling to reconcile how much he loves with how much he fears, and it’s not clear to him right now which is going to win out. I have whiplash just listening to him, so I can’t imagine what it’s like inside his brain.

But I have felt centered and sure all week. Because I know this for sure: we have to leap if we want to live.

This week, I celebrate where my son is. Right on the cusp of leaping.

IMG_3699

 

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Celebrate: Going Through It #celebratelu 4/11/15

  1. “Everything new just uncovers something else old that needs to be worked through”–this line really struck me. Hoping for comfort and peace for you and your son.

  2. I think holding on will help, keep on keeping on. I don’t want to make it sound easy, know it must not be, but taking that step is the only way. Hugs to you & your son, Elisabeth.

  3. Elisabeth, life is fragile and uncertain. What we know now may be altered tomorrow so faith is the common denominator that ties lives together. Thank you for your courageous reflection.

  4. Pingback: It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? #imwayr 4/13/15 | the dirigible plum

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s